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| Family, without masks |
OK, OK, you can stop hitting that refresh key, it's late but it's here, the Family Christmas Letter, wherein, drawing a complete blank on the supposed highlights of the past year, we share a few things that happened in the last 72 hours and fill the rest of the space with tips on where to buy N95 masks. And this time "we" mean we, for the Letter, once the work of a single pen, is now edited, or at least criticized, by almost every member of the family, except...
QUBIT:
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| BFFs |
Qubit is nearly two we guess, which, in dog years, puts her right into quberty. Some of the typical teenage
characteristics--destroying bathroom fixtures, sass mouth, biting the
hand that feeds her--she completely fails to display, but, like teens
everywhere, she is obsessed with social networking, in particular the
urine-based "Peebook," to which she contributes 10-20 times per day, depending on how many walks she gets. Also, like her peers, Qubit sleeps most of the time, waking only at the sound of the refrigerator opening. Asleep or awake, she expects some skritches and will paw that phone right out of your hand if she thinks they're due.
TALIA:
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| Where in the world is Talia Sandiego? |
2021 was a year of didn'ts for Talia, some of them quite exotic. Talia didn't get to sleep with the dog (much), Talia didn't go to Bali, and Talia didn't contribute to this Letter until very pointedly asked. Still, the year was not without its achievements, most important--for her and for millions of please-don't-make-us-get-back-on-Zoom-again students--guiding K-12 schools through the ins and outs (of your nose--ha!) of mass testing programs: unlike most of us, who would rather just forget the whole pandemic, Talia has made a profession of it. When not "at" work, you'll find Talia wearing really, really decrepit headgear [not shown] and smoking turkeys.
FELIX:
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| Classic Felix: on a bike, wondering why his backpack is so light |
2021 brought many firsts for our first-born, not all of which became seconds. Felix started high school (that, so far, seems to be sticking) where he discovered some new activities--water polo, speed typing, condom certification--all of which he took up and as quickly laid down again. Likewise snowboarding, which he now says he can "do" and surely never again will. But the year's not quite done yet, so maybe in these last hours he'll follow through on his proposed formation of a killer trivia team (to be called the Neil deGrasse Feynmans), or perhaps the New York Times will decide to publish his oddly mesmerizing audio capture of a day-in-the-life of a high school student after all. Felix has learned to make himself tuna fish when he is hungry, but was recently caught wearing his pajamas under his jeans: on these grounds we judge him nearly, but not quite, ready to go away to college.
GIDEON:
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| Self portrait |
Like his brother, upon whose shadow he often pointedly stomps, Gideon has moved up to a new school. Aside from somewhat more complicated lunchtime dynamics, the transition posed few challenges, and Gid even won the Halloween costume contest in the "most scary" category: a tax collector, he handed the judges a notice of audit. Music is a big thing at his new school, and we were surprised to discover at the end-of-year concert that our boy keeps rhythm with his left foot but blows the trumpet with his right one. As an extracurricular activity Gideon is perfecting his impression of Richard Nixon, undeniable evidence of overexposure to television (contrary to any claims you might later hear about limited screen time).
ALEC:
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| Your first clue that this section has a guest editor |
This year Alec (as per usual) worked his @$$ off planning for a
remodel on the house, got a new job as an ethics enforcer for Autodesk, and didn’t give his children the right amount of screen time they wanted. Point being he’s had a great year but could have done better. Whether glued to a screen for hours on end (unlike his children) or forcing his kids to walk the dog, you know you can rely on Alec to do it. Still as fit as a bass drum he will be delighting his blog viewers for years to come. Speaking of viewers his new movie, The Automat, recently came out BUT I (Gideon “the guest editor” Shuldiner) HAVEN'T GOTTEN TO WATCH IT, as well as “his” 3d printed bridge which was also recently installed BUT I HAVEN'T GOTTEN TO WALK ON IT. Also he uses commas when he texts.
Well there's the family, and wasn't it tricky figuring out who contributed what? But wait, it's not over, because we still want to tell you about our...
VACATIONS:
Here we are at the slideshow part of our year in review in which we share photos of our enviable vacations. Except this year our vacations were mostly restricted to California and even then, like as not, were derailed by burning forests, so not always as enviable as one might hope. Still, almost all of the photos are of me, Alec "the main editor" Shuldiner, and many of them are in focus, so hit your mute button (the soundtrack is even worse than usual) and play the reel:
And so we come to the close of another Christmas Letter, your annual reminder that wit isn't humor
and this isn't either. Despite it all, we look forward to 2022 with optimism in most things, and with a shared determination that this year we really will clean the fish tank. Happy New Year, all!
