Family Xmas letter 2025

Stuck in the snow

Each year in December our postbox fills with annual updates from you, our readers and friends who still remember how to use stamps, pens, and a calendar. Thank you all for the inspiration and reminders: it's time for our own wandering excuse for a Family Xmas Letter in which, as usual, we share some dog photos plus a few more or less cryptic personal updates all of which are technically not untrue. Here's a few, along with select enriching hyperlinks: Talia closed the construction permit for our rebuild, shut down the AIDS Ride, was appointed Town Treasurer in a party line vote, and started working at Guide Dogs for the Blind where her colleagues (presumably the four-legged ones) might have given her fleas. Felix shot an invasive wild boar and buried its head in our yard, then graduated high school and left for college where he appears to be double majoring in digital pinball and sleeplessness. Gideon spent the summer as a teacher's assistant, totally dominated Spotify's global "Wrapped" on some leaderboard of his own invention, and has only been cited by the police once this year for the not uncommon crime of ignoring a stop sign while biking. Alec invented the "Would You Rather" game ("would you rather have Felix at dinner with us or a side Caesar salad?" now be honest), has learned to floss before brushing, and has a new least favorite bird, the Great Horned Owl (seriously, shut up already, I'm trying to make memories!). And then there's Qubit, for whom nothing changes and who therefore has no news to report...but that's not going to prevent her from participating in this year's experimental probably one time only day-in-the-life format. Enjoy!

QUBIT

me and all love all light all joy monkey

dear dogery today i woke up in a really good mood it was dark and warm in bed and smelled delicious if youre into that kind of smell morning is my favorite time of day scary monkey doesnt seem so scary and random annoying monkey was gone when i got up and i got second sleeps in bed with claims to love me but never walks me monkey his bed is also warm and smells good if youre into that kind of smell dog i love smells but then all love all light all joy monkey left and my world turned into old dog turds the sort that dont even smell interesting and i spent infinite time with negative ideation of the worst sort ever because all separation is forever separation scary monkey took me for a walk but makes me sit down and do other random stuff and i yawn at him chill out monkey but it just makes him mad and reality is just a bottomless pit of despair without all love all light all joy monkey and what else can you do but sleep so i did and then the greatest miracle ever since yesterday happened and all love all light all joy monkey was there somehow and together we were transcendent until after a few seconds i scratched her lightly and she was mad but all love all light all joy and then we were together on the couch and we slept it was the best day ever

TALIA

Talia soup eating Talia's soup

Dear Diary, I'm so happy to have this chance to collect my thou...wait, I have to make pie crusts.... OK, I made seven pie crusts, three for other people to use so they can fake baking. So, Dear Diary, I... have to drive Gideon to school because otherwise his cross country team will run away without him even though he's their most valuable team member, not fast but somehow the oil or something that I guess makes the rest of the team run faster? Anyway, it's hard to find them in the dark, so more later.... I'm back! Dear, dear Diary, actually you're not that dear, not like Qubit, whom I love. Do you know how adorable she is with her little face and also her little body? I wonder if she knows I spend all day with other dogs, sometimes even with puppies, yes, that's right, I work with puppies! They don't understand a word I say, and I'm not sure some of the people I talk to do either, especially the ones I live with, but Qubit understands me, I'm sure she does though somehow she just isn't getting the message about not licking moisturizer off my face which is disgusting for both of us. I'm glad we're getting this time together, Diary, but I have to go because I also am the Town Treasurer which means I have to co-sign checks on certain random days in person between 4:34 and 4:51 and forget it, I'm late, I'll do that tomorrow. Oh, that won't work, tomorrow is Thanksgiving or some similar holiday and I have to cook several turkeys and Town Hall is closed. Good, I'd rather cook turkeys than sign checks, I do enough of that as it is. OMG it's so cold in this house but wait now I'm broiling and my sweater itches, agh life is a torment except I'm asleep and dreaming of making pie crusts because somehow there is never any dessert in this house.

FELIX

Dear Diary, today I woke up in the bright sunshine of San Diego where I wake up every day, delighted to discover that I am at college where nobody can tell me to get out of bed. Actually, I'm going to get out of bed now because there are at least two other people living in this same room and they aren't asleep, they're already up and are noisily playing video games. OK, I kind of miss having my own room. No, wait, diary, I am psyched to be here where I can choose from seventeen different restaurants to eat at though that does mean getting dressed so I guess I'll just cook up something for myself...crap, did you know spices cost money? Oh well, I guess I'd better swerve bike to whatever class the academic planner I vibe coded enrolled me in, not that I actually need to take classes this year because I entered with so many AP credits I'm technically in a master's program. Better not forget my toga, I've got that frat event at noon where I get pied by randos in the interest of public service which makes it totally not hazing. I wonder if a video of me with banana cream filling all over my face will convince mom and dad to pay for my ΣΥΧ dues after all? Uh, no? That's fine, I'm sure I can earn the money gambling at the local casino I went to instead of spending time with the 'rents when they were here visiting for the last time ever. OK, diary, peace out or whatever kids are saying on campus these days probably some indecipherable acronym whatever.

GIDEON

This is what comes of an inspo pic

Yo diary, 

I'm a B student, I mean I do my homework
Not turned in on time, hand in my own work
I did, did my homework
I did, I didn't hand in my own work

Quingentotorian, plug-in Kia EV (yeah)
My windows not working right its overdue for service
Frunk all up in the dash and the doors (uh-uh)
It's rare that I'm wrong, I think I'm ready for college
What's up? I reflect the tulle fog in the sky
I'm the coldest winter day but it's only NorCal
Chill, play it cool 'till I come and get a little froze on my bike ride to school
Let the P's find the empty tortilla chip bag under the bed after I toss it (woah)

You do improper things, I audit your iPhone
Weak firecrackers I buy in Chinatown burn faster than rubber on spinnin' tires
I'm up early with the birds, I push up in my regimen
Party with the dog, I bet I get to sleep with her tonight

I mean you see the way the scarf around my neck's lookin'
So you already know the way them oil and vinegar checks lookin'
Eh, I put the county on my back
Got it not murder poppin' on these fellow schoolmates
Put the county on the map, yeah

Next tour's a quarter mile run
They hated on the team, but we still won
Uh, I put the county on my back
Got it not pill poppin' on these fellow schoolmates
Put the county on the map, ah

(With apologies to 50 Cent)

ALEC

Learning to use AI

Dear ChatGPT, a few words. Cheapest Pinside machines. Dutch American treaty status. Figs toxicity for horses. Free microwave in La Jolla. Oroblanco grapefruit tree advice. Murphy bed build guide. Find Nike jacket code. Adjust Makita fence tension. Coast redwood in Amsterdam. Flight missed advice. Speakon vs. RCA connectors. Japanese barbers in Bay Area. Dishwasher door seal fix. Selbstbeweihräucherung Erklärung. iPhone app for Discogs. FCA warning troubleshooting guide. Soap impaler explanation. Microwave policy at UCSD. Motherboard inspection observations. Thanks for the inference.

VACATIONS ADVENTURES

We've had a few, most notably the one we're on right now. For this year's winter break we decided to keep things "simple," opting to go to nearby Tahoe for a few days of fun in the snow. Writing, as I was, from a Best Western in Truckee where we were forced to seek shelter after a white-knuckle drive through the season's first serious storm, I'm questioning this approach, but being trapped in a hotel room did give us time for the Letter which, you may have noticed, is going out only a little late. Anyway, here's photos, snowy and not, of the year's ups and further ups:

And there's bonus material! Felix took a with-a-little-help-from-my-mother-self-planned, "yeah, right, sure go to Iceland, oh wow, you're actually there, by yourself, on a bike, traversing a volcanic wonderland, go Felix! Oh wait you missed your return flight did you know it's 2 AM in California well maybe this won't be such a budget experience after all" solo vacation from which this highlight reel supplied by the traveler himself:

 

Clearly Felix should be in charge of making the annual slideshow, hint hint, but that will have to wait for next year. Speaking of which, here's our annual prediction for the year to come: it's going to involve a lot of shoveling. Happy New Year everyone!