He that writes to himself writes to an eternal public. -Emerson

Friday, July 22, 2011

The rising waters

Living with the first baby in a small apartment was something like being in one of those movies where the protagonist (me) is trapped in a cube (the apartment) as the water (Felix) slowly rises. Living with the second baby in our current house is like being in the preview of that same movie: everything happens much more quickly, with the exciting moments highlighted. Except for one thing: the leap in water level that is heralded by a baby's first steps has been long delayed.

Give me a break, Gid. You were fully capable of walking--the strength, the coordination, the examples galore--from a year on if not earlier, yet it was only a few days ago that you decided to take some steps. Progress, if such it should be called, was rapid thereafter. A quick photo essay by way of explanation:

Monday: I catch Gideon playing baseball in the backyard. He immediately plants it and swears it was all a coincidence.
Tuesday: While out shopping I turn around and discover Gideon giving Tai Chi lessons in the Japantown food court. He sits down and mutters something in a language I do not understand.
Wednesday: Gideon, unaware that I am no longer holding him up by his overall straps, walks across the room. I film it. Faced with incontrovertible proof he admits he can walk, and asks if we are going to stop feeding him and changing him and all that. I assure him there is no connection between walking and his full ride. I am unable to explain exactly why he does get a full ride, but walking or the failure to do so has no bearing on the matter. Reassured, he strolls down the hall, climbs up on Felix's bed, stands, and starts ripping all the stickers off the bottom of the top bunk. He then eats the evidence.

Thursday: We go to the beach where Gideon emphasizes his new-found ability by walking in soft sand, which is really very difficult, you know.  I am so pleased with him, we have such a wonderful afternoon, and afterwards, washing the sunblock off in the shower, he stands up and yanks on my bellringer so hard I hit overtones.
Gimme a kiss you big lug, you, and enjoy your Friday.

Monday, July 11, 2011

I Salute You, Ernie Pyle

World War II is an utterly ridiculous subject for a blog post:  there simply isn't enough Internet to hold it all.  But I think about World War II a lot and I finally have a way in to a small but important piece of it, so here goes.

Choose a topic, any topic, and follow its path through the 20th century.  Five will get you ten that path breaks when it hits the war, and then, when it comes out the other side, it does so at a completely different spot from where it went in.  (Not the best imagery, I suppose, but it's better than the trite "the war changed everything.")  This disjuncture, this fault across the landscape of history, makes World War II, for me, endlessly fascinating, as does the sheer enormity, in every sense, of the war itself.

And so I read:  Studs Terkel's "The Good War," Morison's History of United States Navel Operations in World War II (15 volumes, don't miss even one), Overy's The Dictators, Das Boot, Churchill's own history of the war (a thousand pages in its condensed version; I'm starting the full six volumes next week, having found, yes, found, five of them on the street a few days ago).  I read and I read, but I do so haphazardly, and so it is that I have only now consumed what everyone over here read while the war was going on, namely the articles of Ernie Pyle, famously the greatest American war correspondent of that conflict.

Perhaps it's the day-by-day nature of his recounting, perhaps it's the man-on-the-ground perspective and his close focus on the grind as experienced by the average front-line soldier, but the net effect of reading these many articles is what feels like a realistic sense of the experience, a sense, almost, of having been there. For the first time I find myself uninterested in the big questions and wholly focused upon the quotidian, which, of course, is how most people took it most of the time. So thank you, Ernie Pyle, for allowing me some satisfaction after all this time of wondering.

And as if that's not enough I find I love the man. Pyle was a wanderer and a writer and a truly great journalist, and his life was the best story of all. I have read biographies for many years now (having been turned on to the genre not by my own historical studies but by my mother's suggestion of Sandburg's bio of Lincoln, about which another time) and what tends to happen if you read enough biographies is that you start thinking in those terms, that is to say in terms of an entire life, start to finish, a life as a whole, and not just about people as individuals, changing from day to day, sometimes this, sometimes that. You start thinking in those terms, and you start valuing people in those terms, too. Lincoln's life is a perfect example, and it's part of why I love the man so: much struggle, many years of wandering in the wilderness (literally and figuratively), the shaping of character by the hammer blows of experience, until finally he becomes the ideal tool for that one very particular job. But what makes Lincoln's life perfect--and apologies if this seems a bit morbid--is his death: the tool, having been used, having done its destined job, was then immediately cast aside.

And so it was for Pyle. He lived the war and he wrote about what he saw and felt, hundreds and hundreds of articles that communicated the battle itself to the (primarily American) millions who did not experience the fight directly. And then, as the war was drawing to its close, after years of marching with the infantry, sleeping on the ground, eating dirt, after living with the terror of air attack and shelling, after participating in the greatest amphibious actions, naval battles, and air bombings of this or any other war, after experiencing and relating all this and with the end clearly in sight, he, like Lincoln, was killed by a bullet to the head, fired by a Japanese soldier a third of a mile away. As Wikipedia notes, "He was buried with his helmet on, laid to rest in a long row of graves among other soldiers, with an infantry private on one side and a combat engineer on the other." Perfect.

I have no desire to go to war, and certainly no desire to die so. I would, though, love to live a life with a real shape, with a unique purpose, and would, I think, be willing to forgo some of its later years if in doing so the ones that I did have were thereby made into a narrative, burnished and perfect, like Ernie Pyle's.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Catnap

I've decided to make fractured sleep my specialty: wake me, wake me, I'll steal it back later on.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Happy Birthday, Talia

Is there cake or shall I stop at wf to get some? I have no issue with doing that...

From: Talia Cell
3:02pm 5/20/11
Even a single-line message offers an opportunity to read between the lines.  Allow me to translate:
You failed to make anything much of Mother's Day or even to ensure that the kids did, you yourself don't care for cake and are probably assuming that having a birthday cake at my birthday BBQ on Sunday is all the birthday cake I require anyway, and in general, dear husband, you've been kind of botching it lately, so in an effort to ensure that I don't end up entirely depressed on my own birthday I am hopefully shaming you into finding a cake in the next couple of hours or, failing that--and I do mean failing--I will attempt to shame you in a more substantive and permanent fashion by actually bringing home my own cake on my own birthday and eating it alone in what will hereafter be called "my" bed with my headphones on while watching America's Top Pastry Chef and you can finish raising the children by yourself.
 Gotcha!




Before I get too smug, it occurs to me that I did not think to arrange a cake for the birthday BBQ tomorrow....

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Now that they're back


A faithful reader asks "What did you actually get done while the wife and children were away?"  Faithful and perhaps a bit pedantic, but you asked for it so here it is:
  • Wake up and read:  I did this every morning.  Now that they are back I get woken up and read in the middle of the night.  It's not the same.
  • Put toilet paper on toilet roll:  I did this right away.  Now the paper is back on the toilet tank where Gideon can't (yet) get at it.
  • Fit a year's worth of social and business engagements in the city into like four days:  Did it.  My best day was the 14th on which I had five separate engagements in the city and found good parking spots for each one.
  • Get a massage:  Did it on my way to the airport to pick them up.  Have not yet recovered from that.
  • Fix marriage timer:  Did it!  Set up a spreadsheet and carefully entered the starting time, the stopping time, the dip switch setting, and the numeric reading.  I was prepared to go through all 4-prime possibilities, but the first setting did it!  Welcome to day 2134!
  • Completely reorganize all storage spaces:  Well, "completely" is perhaps an exaggeration, but I certainly did some very gratifying reorganization.
  • Make proper shelving in kitchen:  Thought some more about this, but no, didn't do anything here.  Not sure we will.
  • Find packaging for camera so I can return it. Get new camera:  Got new camera, returned that camera, never found the packaging for my old one.  Does that count?  I hope so, because I really can't figure out what happened to the old packaging.
  • Hang new curtains:  Therein lies a story; see below.
  • Get rid of futon bed:  Made a plan to do same, which plan has just yesterday come to fruition.  Immediate result of which was a terrible, sleepless night last night.  Hmmm.
  • Really deal with media computer and networked storage and stereo and all that:  Really dealt with some of this.  Data all backed up on a new 2TB drive elsewhere on our network, media computer stripped down somewhat, am faithfully investigating getting a new amp and a phonograph.  LPs are the surest way to solve the MP3 problem, no?
  • Find non-cardboard based storage system for toys in living room:  SO did it!  Er, almost.  As the picture above shows, I got an awesome chest and put it up on wheels thereby solving not only this problem but the "lack of coffee table" problem to boot.  In doing so I created the "super dangerous finger crushing four inch redwood lid" problem, which is proving tricky to solve.
  • Sharpen everything:  Did it. Many thanks to Johannes for introducing me to the Istor.
  • Register some fictitious businesses and go to Costco:  Did it.  Quickly ran out of grapefruits, but the business names are good for five years.
  • Search for comma key. (If I fail to find it I will move the useless tilde key to the comma spot and put a tiny sticker photo of Gideon's face on it and push it a lot.):  Failed to find it.  Moved tilde key.  Applied sticker.  I push it faithfully.
Now, the promised story which is, perhaps, not terribly interesting, but illuminating nonetheless.  While the family was away I went to IKEA and got all the right hardware and curtains for covering the spaces that require it (not to mention a long-overdue lamp for the living room), but I failed to hang them:  I needed to ask Talia a thing or two about just how high she wanted the new drapes.  Still, I was determined not to let the advent of my dear family halt me in my tracks, so, soon after they returned, I extracted the old hardware and set the new materials out on the at-the-time-still-present futon bed in the living room. Plan was to ask Talia the height question that night and finish the job on the morrow.  Let us call that "Day 1." In point of fact here's what happened:
  • Day 1: Remove old hardware thereby generating lots of dust and paint flakes on floor. Am certain I will finish tomorrow so don't bother to vacuum. Exhausted at day's end, I fail to ask Talia how high she wants the curtains hung.
  • Day 2: Wake up, stumble into the living room, discover Gideon on the floor playing with my electric screwdriver and the (fortunately locked) shears; all the hardware is now on the floor under the bed because Talia needed to sleep in the living room bed the night before thanks to self-same Gideon. Fail again that evening to ask Talia about desired curtain height.
  • Day 3: Remember to ask Talia about how high to hang the curtains and in doing so realize there's only one reasonable answer. Don't have a chance to do the install. Discover Gideon playing with paint chips. Vacuum carpet.
  • Day 4: Install anchors but, in a rush to get it done before Gideon wakes up, blow the first one when I drill too large a hole. Install larger anchor on that one. Hang curtains. Vacuum carpet.
  • Day 5:  Curtains fall down:  larger anchor simply too large for screw. Reinstall using larger screw.
  • Day 6: Gideon pulls curtains down:  larger anchor too large for larger screw when 23 pound baby is hanging on it. Install smaller anchor inside larger anchor. Hang curtains.
  • Day 7: Gideon pulls curtains down:  smaller anchor unable to secure firm enough purchase inside larger anchor. No time to reinstall today. Vacuum carpet. Begin to despair.
  • Day 8: Wake up to find Gideon playing in curtains on floor. Miraculously, I arrive before white curtains become some color other than white. Determine to finish damn job today.  Install large metal anchors at all questionable points. Hang curtains.
To date they are still up--see background to photo above--but just writing about it is exhausting.

What's next?